Vexed Read online

  According to Jay, she’d never used the traditional strap on with Jill, or any other kind of toy, for that matter. She had often bragged that she could take Jill, and any woman, to the stars with only the body parts she’d been born with. Jay had told Zach repeatedly that if she relied on a fake dick to please her women, they could just go and fuck a man without any further thoughts of her. She had claimed she had special skills to satisfy her lovers, to the extent that any brother would find it hard to compete with her on a sexual level. Zach would never believe that, because if it was so, Jay would still be with Venus, the love of her life. Venus had broken his sister’s heart by leaving her after a four-year relationship, abandoning gay life to return to heterosexuality. Venus was now raising Nahima with her fiancé, Charles, who she was scheduled to marry early next year.

  “Mmm, mmm, Jay! Ah! Ooh!” Zach heard Jill yell from the other side of the wall.

  He flipped over onto his stomach and covered his head with the covers. No brother wanted to hear his sister and her partner making mad, passionate love, especially if that brother had an acute fondness and covert sexual attraction for said partner. As Jill’s moans and cries of satisfaction heightened, Zach berated himself for fantasizing about the sights and sounds they could make together if her heart didn’t belong to Jay. He made a sincere effort to steer his mind away from that forbidden erotic fantasy, but Jill’s moans of pleasure held his mind, body, and soul prisoner. His lustful member betrayed him, adding to the physical and mental torment. Zach rolled onto his back with an enormous erection that lifted the cool, crisp sheet away from his body. A severe case of inquisitiveness combined with sexual frustration yanked him from the queen-size four-post bed before his capacity for better judgment could protest.

  Zach wasn’t sure if his heart was still beating or not when his eyes caressed Jill’s naked body through the crack in his bedroom door. He tiptoed a few inches outside his room for a better view. The muted television in the sitting area provided sufficient light for him to see her exquisite profile from the right. There she stood, with a wide open-leg stance, over Jay, who was on her knees, devouring her like a sweet and delectable fruit. Jill thrust her hips forward in rapid succession, as if she were dancing to the beat of an African drum. Jay squeezed and massaged her tight, round bottom, and in response, Jill twisted her fingers in the soft jet-black curls covering Jay’s head. On the brink of a powerful climax, Jill lifted her hands from the curly locks and fondled her fully erect dark nipples frantically. She threw her head back and screamed out her explosive release, causing Zach to convulse and spill warm seed down his thighs and legs. He ducked back inside his bedroom breathlessly and closed the door, unable to recall the moment his hand had slid underneath the waistband of his shorts.

  * * *

  “Where are you going so early, Zachary?”

  “I’m on my way to the straw market to do some shopping,” he answered with his back to Jill. “I thought you were still asleep. I didn’t wanna disturb you. I’ll be back around noon. We’ll have lunch at the deli you like downstairs. And we’ll order cheesecake and our secret topping.”

  Zach’s hand gripped the doorknob tighter. He hoped the conversation was over. He refused to turn around to face Jill out of fear that she would be able to read the raw emotion in his eyes. In his mind, he had made love to her last night, but because she had not granted him permission to do so, the act could be classified as rape. Zach was ashamed and disturbed by the entire secret act. He didn’t hear Jill’s soft footsteps on the plush carpet, and it was impossible to see her while he was facing the door. The ginger and lilac scented body gel and oil she wore daily alerted him that she was near.

  “Enjoy the shopping, Zachary,” she said and placed her hand on his shoulder. “I’ll meet you in the deli at noon.”

  The feel of Jill’s hand continued to burn an imprint in Zach’s flesh hours after he’d left the penthouse. As Riley, the cab driver, sped over the hilly, winding roads, Zach’s shoulder tingled, and visions of Jill assaulted his thoughts. What is it about that young, naïve girl that has captured your five senses, your heart and loins? Zach’s macho male ego asked. And he pondered the question, even as he bartered and flirted with the wise and sassy old women at the straw market for deals on his souvenir purchases.

  “Where ya wanna go now, mon?” Riley, the friendly cabbie, asked Zach after he eased into the back seat of the car. He peered at his passenger’s face through the rearview mirror and waited for instructions.

  “Take me back to the resort, Riley,” Zach said, noticing the time on his white gold Cartier watch. “I have a lunch date with a special friend that I gotta keep.”

  * * *

  Zach spotted Jill immediately when he entered the deli, which was swarming with customers. She was sitting, sipping lemonade, and watching the many faces in the bustling lunch crowd. Dozens of people were laughing and talking over their midday meals.

  “I’m sorry I’m late,” Zach apologized, sliding onto the bench opposite Jill in the booth.

  Her eyes lit up, and she smiled that smile that made his heart skip a beat. “It’s okay. I came early anyway. I was so bloody bored in the penthouse. I wrote my father a letter and organized Jay’s clothes and shoes in her closet. Then I went to the pool to people watch.”

  “How would you prefer to spend your time? Isn’t there something else you’d rather be doing with your life besides taking care of Jay?”

  “Mmm,” Jill moaned, obviously rolling the question around in her head. “I wish I had an important job, such as a teacher or business owner like Desmond. Maybe I could become a nurse like you. What’s it like, Zachary, taking care of sick children and saving their lives?”

  “It’s very rewarding. When you meet a child who’s close to death, and you and your team make them well again, there’s no greater feeling. You know that your life has a wonderful purpose.”

  Zach witnessed the impact his words had on Jill right away. He hadn’t meant to make her feel small or worthless, but he clearly had. Her eyes revealed it. Zach regretted his last statement, and he wished he could take it back. But Jill had asked him his feelings about the profession he had loved and cherished for over a decade now, and he had only told her the truth. It was unfortunate that his words had somehow hurt her fragile feelings.

  “I’ve not yet found my purpose,” Jill explained. “Jay says I’m still young and have lots of time to decide what I’d like to do with my life.”

  “I think you should go to school, Jill. You’re smart, ambitious, and well spoken. I honestly believe you’d do well in any field you chose to study. I think you’d do exceptionally well if you concentrated on what you love most. You were born to dance, Jillian Bessette.”

  “My mommy has said that since I was a little girl, but she and Papa could not afford to send me away to New York or Paris or London to be formally trained. It is very expensive, Zachary.”

  The server came to take their orders. Jill wasn’t used to having the liberty of selecting her meals in public. Jay usually ordered for both of them. Zach waited patiently while she carefully perused the menu. The young, attractive female server tossed her long braids over her shoulder flirtatiously and smiled at him. Jill finally settled on a grilled chicken sandwich on wheat bread, with a side order of potato salad. Zach’s king-size appetite called for a twelve-inch Mediterranean sub, vinegar and garlic potato wedges, and pasta salad.

  “Could you please put our dessert orders in as well? We’ll both have cheesecake with strawberry topping,” he said.

  “We’d like lots of strawberry topping,” Jill added and giggled hysterically.

  Zach couldn’t help but join in on her silly laughing fit. He shook his head, thinking just how often she made him laugh without even trying. There was something about her bubbly personality that stole his heart and gave him permission to throw caution to the wind. Jill was a woman physically and intellectually, but her childlike spirit and generous heart allowed you to glimpse insid
e her soul. She was an unassuming and compassionate woman, one with an abundance of love to give, even to those who didn’t deserve it. That was the best way Zach could describe her. She was as close to perfection as any human being could ever be.

  His countenance became serious without warning, and he gazed deeply into Jill’s enchanting eyes. “You didn’t fully answer my question. If you could wave a magic wand and change your life to do anything you wanted, what would you be doing every day?”

  “I’d be in school somewhere in the United States, studying dance, and I would teach little girls how to dance too. With the money I earned, I would help take care of my parents and siblings.” Jill closed her eyes and paused. “I would have some babies! Two or three little boys, and perhaps a girl too, are what I’d like. And I would love them plenty and give them the world.” She opened her eyes and found Zach staring at her with a mystified look.

  “You wanna have children? I never would’ve guessed it. How . . . I mean . . . you can’t . . . Jay . . .”

  “I know, but you asked me if I had a magic wand, what I would do. I’ve told you, Zachary. You didn’t say it had to make sense.”

  The server came with their sandwiches and sides, and they ate in comfortable silence. Jill seemed totally detached from their earlier conversation. It baffled Zach how she had mastered the technique of separating reality from fantasy without a smidgen of regret or longing. She embraced her unfulfilled life and functioned, day in and day out, like it was a perfect existence. In actuality, it was anything but what she desired or dreamed of. Jay had somehow convinced Jill that she had been brought into her life as a suitable replacement for all the ambitions, hopes, and dreams she’d once had. If Zach didn’t know better, he would swear his sister really did have a magic wand and had cast a wicked spell on Jill that made her hopelessly loyal to Jay and her selfish agenda.

  “You’re absolutely right, Jill. It doesn’t make sense,” Zach finally said. He pressed forward cautiously with the best of intentions, hoping not to offend her again. “You wanna be a professional dancer and instructor, yet you’ve abandoned those dreams without ever making any attempt to make them come true. You’ve told me you’d like to have children someday, but you’re in a relationship that makes that impossible. Are you gonna throw that aspiration away too? Will you be content with being a domestic partner to Jay for the rest of your life, without experiencing the joy of motherhood?”

  “Jay says we’ll adopt children. There are lots of little ones around the world who are in need of a loving home. Jay and I can give them that.”

  The server appeared just then and cleared away their dishes. Then she returned with two plates of cheesecake with a generous amount of strawberry topping. Zach reached for his dessert and began to eat it slowly. He knew Jay’s adoption promise was a big lie. His sister didn’t want children. Venus could most definitely attest to that. Jay had only told Jill they would become adoptive parents to appease her. There was nothing Zach could say that would open Jill’s eyes without exposing his sister for the cold, calculating master of deception she was. He also didn’t have the heart to hurt her with the truth either. His compassion for Jill increased tremendously because he knew that in time she would have to face some harsh realities about her life with Jay. The day would come when she would realize how steep a price she was paying to be with Jay.

  “Well, I hope your every dream will come true, Jill. You’re a very special young lady, and you deserve a wonderful life filled with many blessings and happiness.” Zach removed his wallet from his back pants pocket. He opened it to a photograph and then handed the wallet to Jill. “That’s Nahima. She’ll be five years old in November.”

  “Wow, Zachary! She is very beautiful. Her skin is flawless. You and she share the same complexion, ya know? And her smile is just like yours too. This child could be mistaken for your daughter.”

  Zach closed his eyes and ordered his racing heart to slow down. Jill had keen perception. She was much smarter than Jay gave her credit for. She had picked up on his and Nahima’s similar facial features in a matter of seconds. A little girl that pretty and adorable was way too precious to be kept a secret. Damn you, Jay! Zach wanted to scream.

  “She’s just like my daughter. We spend a lot of time together, and she loves me like there is no tomorrow. I’d rather take Nahima to Chuck E. Cheese’s for the evening than go on a romantic weekend getaway with Tyra Banks.”

  Jill lifted her eyes from the picture and shot Zach a confused look. “I know who Tyra Banks is, but who is this Chucky person? Is she a model as well?”

  Zach cracked up, and Jill stared at him as if he had lost his mind. Several diners in the deli were watching them now. Zach’s outburst had obviously embarrassed Jill.

  “Zachary, please stop laughing at once,” she whispered. “People are staring at us.”

  “I’m sorry, Jill. Chuck E. isn’t a person. He’s a giant mouse, actually.”

  “So you’d prefer to take your goddaughter to see a rodent instead of making love to Tyra Banks? Zachary, that is absurd.”

  “Listen, Chuck E. is not a real mouse. He’s this character at a popular fun place for children in America. They go there to play games and enjoy music and puppet shows. There are rides, games, and food there that kids love. Sometimes, I take Nahima there on a Saturday afternoon, and we stay until the place closes.”

  “Whenever Jay and I visit you in Atlanta, you must take me there. I will go with you and Nahima to meet this Chucky mouse.”

  Chapter Six

  Jill cried the entire cab ride to Sangster International Airport. She had insisted that she give Zach a proper send-off, since Jay was unable to. There had been a shipping mishap with one of the resort’s major suppliers, and it required Jay’s immediate attention. Zach had told Jay that he understood and would be fine going to the airport alone, but Jill had refused to consider it. Now she was bawling in the backseat of Roy’s van from the resort, with her head resting on Zach’s shoulder. His heart was heavy too, and he felt like crying himself, but like he did with his other newfound feelings for Jill, he suppressed the sadness. When she reached over thoughtlessly and rubbed his chest, his heartbeat accelerated three times its normal rhythm. If only Jill was aware of the physical and emotional effects she had on him.

  After the van came to a stop in front of the United Airlines terminal, Roy exited the van and gathered Zach’s luggage. Jill began to whimper louder and more pitifully. She tightened her hold on Zach’s body and kissed him softly on his cheek and neck repeatedly. Zach sat completely still, unable to move. He didn’t know whether to stop Jill, because the way she was making him feel was wrong, or to allow her to continue, because it felt so right. The defining moment came when she covered his lips with hers and smacked once, twice, and then again. Defenseless and weak, Zach was a hot second away from slipping his tongue inside Jill’s mouth, but thank God for Roy. He pounded on the window and tapped the face of his watch with his finger.

  “I have to go, Jill,” Zach whispered. “I don’t wanna miss my flight.”

  He eased out of her clutches and stared down into her gorgeous, tear-streaked face. She caused Zach’s blood to simmer even as she cried. He wanted to comfort her and tell her everything would be okay, but he knew better. She would never have the kind of life she deserved as long as she was with Jay. Zach wished, above all things, that he could take Jill home to Atlanta with him and introduce her to his world. He could make her happy and give her the desires of her heart.

  “I’m going to miss you, Zachary,” Jill cried. “I’ll be so lonely without you. Please promise that you’ll come again soon.”

  “I’ll try, but I can’t promise you anything. Maybe you and Jay could come to Atlanta for Christmas. Aunt Jackie would love that.” He paused. “Well, good-bye for now.”

  Jill nodded her head, tears in her eyes, and watched Zach exit the van and walk away. She broke down as Roy sped off, taking her back to the cold, lonely world of the resort and her
uneventful life with Jay.

  * * *

  “So, how was your trip, dude? Did you meet any hot honeys? Did you get some Jamaican trim?”

  Zach laughed at his best friend, Dex, and rolled his eyes to the roof of Dex’s Ford Explorer. “I went to visit my sister, man, and get some R & R. I wasn’t on the prowl, but there are some beautiful sisters in Jamaica, mon!”

  Dex took his eyes off the road for a few seconds and looked at his boy. He and Zach had been best friends since their days at Florida A&M University. They’d met as freshmen in Gibbs Hall, having never crossed paths in their hometown of Atlanta. They had clicked instantly and had been thick as thieves ever since. After Zach had completed the nursing program and Dex had become a licensed respiratory therapist, they had returned home and landed jobs at Grady Memorial Hospital. They were like brothers and knew each other well. That was how Dex was able to detect that something wasn’t quite right with Zach.

  “What’s really up, dude? Something happened in Jamaica. Don’t deny it. I know you. Please don’t tell me you fell in love over there.”

  “Man, please!” Zach snapped. “You know your boy loves ’em and leaves ’em wherever he goes. Ain’t nobody in love.”

  “Well, you’re in strong like. What’s her name? How good was the pussy? And what lie are you gonna tell Ayla when you have to rush back to Jamaica for a tune-up?”

  “Number one, I kept my dick on ice, and I don’t have to tell Ayla a damn thing, because it’s not like that between us. We’re just kicking it, and I can do whatever I wanna do. You know this, Dex, and so does Ayla.”

  “Who is she, Zachary Sean King?”